The Malay Ceremony

The culmination of a Malay traditional wedding is the Bersanding ceremony. The couple are “Raja Sehari” or “Royals for the Day”. The Bersanding ceremony is seen as a way to show the married couple to all the relatives, friends and guests and to allow them to get to know the couple. This tradition has continued and the Bersanding is still one of the most important parts of any Malay wedding.

The sound of the kompang (drums) heralds the arrival of the groom. The guests and the bride take their seats. The bride will wait for the groom on the pelamin (wedding dais), wearing a baju kurung (highly decorated skirt and long blouse), with her attendant behind her.

The groom is traditionally dressed in the Malay costume of baju Melayu (silk shirt and trousers), samping  (a formal patterned silk ‘sarong’) and hat. He carries a keris (ceremonial dagger) at his side. The groom is accompanied by attendants with bunga manggar (poles decorated to represent palm blossom).

In some places, before being allowed to the Pelamin, there is an unscheduled “roadblock” or stoppage ( usually engineered by a playful auntie) and the groom is only allowed to take his seat on the pelamin after a cash payment is made. The payment is just a token sum and the event is carried out in jest.

During the Bersanding the couple are seated on the pelamin with the male on the right of the female.  Standing either side of the couple will be their attendants.

Usually the first person invited to start the blessing ceremony (Upacara Merenjis) will be the most important guest, a VIP, or the groom’s  father. ‘Upacara Merenjis’ involves both parents of the bridegroom and bride blessing the couple by sprinkling air mawar (rose scented water), and bunga rampai (screwpine leaves sliced and mixed with sweet smelling flowers) into their hands. Usually a small number of selected guests are also asked to bless the couple.

Each person that performs the Merenjis (blesses the couple) will be rewarded with a bunga goyang after the blessing. The bunga goyang is a beautifully decorated ornament with leaves and flowers mounted on little springs and a hard boiled egg. The bunga goyang is intended to be a symbol of fertility and is the traditional Johorian wedding ‘favour’.

Once everyone who has been invited to bless the couple has approached the pelamin then friends and relatives are invited to approach to take photographs of the couple.

Following the bersanding it is traditional for the couple to eat with their guests, exactly the same tradition as in England where the meal is known as the wedding breakfast. Each guest at the wedding breakfast recieves a berkat (wedding favour) as a remembrance of the wedding. These gifts are often in the form of hard boiled eggs in beautiful containers known as Bunga Telor. For our wedding the Bunga Telor and Bunga Goyang have been handmade in Malaysia especially for us.